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T O P I C    R E V I E W
kerber Posted - 06/09/2006 : 14:10:01
nigde nisam nasao ovakav topik i bas me zanima zasto ga do sad nije bilo..
danas sam na stripovi org procitao jedan vixc, malo je dugacak,ali nisam se toliko smijao,ko zna od kada :))

Jednog dana upoznala sam jednog divnog gospodina I zaljubila se. Kada je postalo jasno da cemo se uzeti, odlucila sam da prestanem da jedem pasulj.
Nekoliko meseci kasnije, na moj rodjendan, pokvario mi se auto dok sam se vracala kuci s posla. S obzirom da sam zivela na selu, pozvala sam muza i rekla mu da cu kasniti, jer sam morala da odpesacim kuci. Iduci tako, uz put sam naisla na jednu malu krcmu iz koje se sirio miris
pasulja i ja jednostavno nisam mogla da odolim. Posto sam imala pred sobom da prepesacim jos milje i milje, predpostavila sam da cu se putem osloboditi svih nuspojava dok ne stignem kuci. Usla sam u krcmu i za cas posla sam ''sredila'' tri porcije pasulja. Kada sam nastavila da
pesacim, potrudila sam se da oslobodim sav gas.
Kada sam stigla, moj muz je bio radostan sto me vidi i veselo je rekao:
''Draga, imam iznenadjenje za veceru!''
Zatim mi je stavio povez preko ociju i odveo me do stolice za stolom za veceravanje. Sela sam, i bas kad je hteo da mi skine povez, zazvonio je telefon. Naterao me je da mu obecam da necu dirati povez dok se ne vrati, i otisao da se javi.
Pasulj koji sam pojela je jos uvek radio i pritisak je postao nepodnosljiv, tako da sam iskoristila priliku dok se moj muz ne vrati, nagla se na jednu stranu i 'pustila' jedan. Ne samo da je bio glasan, nego je i smrdeo kao kada kamion s djubrivom, prolazeci pored pilane, pregazi tvora. Uzela sam salvetu s krila i zustro oduvala smrad. Zatim sam se nagla na drugu stranu i odvalila jos tri. Smrad je bio gori od kuvanja kupusa. Naculivsi usi na telefonski razgovor u susednoj sobi, nastavila sam ovako da nizem narednih nekoliko minuta. Zadovoljstvo je bilo neopisivo. Kada je pozdravljanje preko telefona oznacilo kraj moje slobode, ucinila sam jos nekoliko brzih kruznih pokreta salvetom da razduvam sve, vratila salvetu na krilo i uz osecaj zadovoljstva i olaksanja, spustila ruke na krilo.
Lice mi je sigurno odavalo najneviniji moguc izraz kada se moj muz vratio i izvinuo sto se tako dugo zadrzao. Pitao me jesam li virila a ja sam ga uverila da nisam. U tom trenutku, skinuo mi je povez i dvanaest gostiju koji su sedeli za stolom u glas je uzviknulo: ''Srecan rodjendan!!!'' Pala sam u nesvest.

25   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
mogorovic Posted - 20/08/2019 : 00:04:13
nagor Posted - 19/08/2019 : 14:48:15
manhunter Posted - 14/08/2019 : 16:23:48
Nije ovo španski, ovo je katalonski. :D
izivko Posted - 14/08/2019 : 16:19:37

Tekst, za one koji ne znaju španski: Da mi je imati jakost ove stolice i vjeru ovoga psa.
nagor Posted - 14/08/2019 : 15:03:57
Poli Posted - 13/08/2019 : 18:41:29

Sigurno vec bilo, ali vrijedi ponoviti.

Are combinations allowed? Just because mixing Confucianism with the Rasta view would give and endless supply of shit to smoke.

Wokeism: the distribution of shit in the world is the sole result of the patriarchy and the West's colonial crimes and white men must now eat shit until the shit distribution has been reversed.

nagor Posted - 13/08/2019 : 10:44:27
Poli Posted - 12/08/2019 : 12:28:06

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to the table. She throws her arms around Dave and says, "Hi, Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"


"Because every time I talk to beautiful woman my wife appears out of no where.”

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.

He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. "I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

Back on July 9th, a group of Great Falls, Montana bikers were riding south on Interstate 15 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Missouri River Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the Montana State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby... whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked... "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe... why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the Montana State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have sex with him since he only had 24 hours to live.

"Of course Darling," she replied.

And so they have sex.

Four hours later they are lying in bed and he turns to her again and says, "you know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?"

Again she responds very sympathetically and agrees to have sex.

Another 8 hours pass, and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion. He taps her on the shoulder, and asks her again, "You know dear, I only have 12 more hours left, how about again for old times sake?"

By this time she is getting a little annoyed, but reluctantly agrees.

After they finish she goes back to sleep and 4 hours later, he taps her on the shoulder again and says, "Dear, I hate to keep bothering you but you know I only have 8 hours left before I die, can we do it one more time?"

She turns to him with a sour look on her face and says, "You know... you don't have to get up in the morning. I do!!!"

A priest was driving along and saw nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg.

She immediately says, "Father, remember Psalm 129".

The priest says sorry and removes his hand but is unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on when he changes gear and has ogled at her leg for the zillionth time he lets the hand slide up the leg again.

The Nun once again says, "Father remember Psalm 129".

Arriving at the convent the nun gets out and the priest goes on his way. Once he arrives at his church he rushes to the bible and looks up Psalm 129 and it said, "GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND GLORY"

A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.

Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled.

They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

So one of the ladies approached Susan very discreetly about the problem, & told her to mash up some green persimmons & rub them on her nipples and all over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size, but warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up & you won't be able to talk properly for a while.

The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and said,

“Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday.

Poli Posted - 12/08/2019 : 12:17:49

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the southern redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

Poli Posted - 09/08/2019 : 11:54:37

E, neces sine!

kada dođe glavni krmak

mogorovic Posted - 08/08/2019 : 00:10:29
Originally posted by Poli

Poli Posted - 07/08/2019 : 21:00:03

Da, neki izgledaju vec najedeni, pa si dobar nekoliko dana, tjedana... :D

nagor Posted - 07/08/2019 : 19:52:08
Originally posted by Poli

Da su kobre se ne bi usudio. Ali ti pospani pitoni nisu problem.
Poli Posted - 07/08/2019 : 19:18:16

Poli Posted - 07/08/2019 : 08:26:40

Poli Posted - 06/08/2019 : 14:26:20

nagor Posted - 06/08/2019 : 09:55:14
nagor Posted - 06/08/2019 : 09:52:13
mogorovic Posted - 05/08/2019 : 00:31:04
Originally posted by ivi skoj

I ko kaže da Janezi nemaju smisla za humor.

ivi skoj Posted - 04/08/2019 : 08:31:10
I ko kaže da Janezi nemaju smisla za humor.
mogorovic Posted - 04/08/2019 : 00:37:47
Originally posted by Poli

Poli Posted - 03/08/2019 : 23:47:59

Poli Posted - 30/07/2019 : 11:04:13

Abandoned vehicle found on Murphy road, in rough shape, possibly stolen

Poli Posted - 29/07/2019 : 18:34:00

Poli Posted - 29/07/2019 : 11:21:14 © 2000-2002 Snitz Communications Go To Top Of Page
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