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 VICEVI !!!

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T O P I C    R E V I E W
kerber Posted - 06/09/2006 : 14:10:01
nigde nisam nasao ovakav topik i bas me zanima zasto ga do sad nije bilo..
danas sam na stripovi org procitao jedan vixc, malo je dugacak,ali nisam se toliko smijao,ko zna od kada :))
............

Jednog dana upoznala sam jednog divnog gospodina I zaljubila se. Kada je postalo jasno da cemo se uzeti, odlucila sam da prestanem da jedem pasulj.
Nekoliko meseci kasnije, na moj rodjendan, pokvario mi se auto dok sam se vracala kuci s posla. S obzirom da sam zivela na selu, pozvala sam muza i rekla mu da cu kasniti, jer sam morala da odpesacim kuci. Iduci tako, uz put sam naisla na jednu malu krcmu iz koje se sirio miris
pasulja i ja jednostavno nisam mogla da odolim. Posto sam imala pred sobom da prepesacim jos milje i milje, predpostavila sam da cu se putem osloboditi svih nuspojava dok ne stignem kuci. Usla sam u krcmu i za cas posla sam ''sredila'' tri porcije pasulja. Kada sam nastavila da
pesacim, potrudila sam se da oslobodim sav gas.
Kada sam stigla, moj muz je bio radostan sto me vidi i veselo je rekao:
''Draga, imam iznenadjenje za veceru!''
Zatim mi je stavio povez preko ociju i odveo me do stolice za stolom za veceravanje. Sela sam, i bas kad je hteo da mi skine povez, zazvonio je telefon. Naterao me je da mu obecam da necu dirati povez dok se ne vrati, i otisao da se javi.
Pasulj koji sam pojela je jos uvek radio i pritisak je postao nepodnosljiv, tako da sam iskoristila priliku dok se moj muz ne vrati, nagla se na jednu stranu i 'pustila' jedan. Ne samo da je bio glasan, nego je i smrdeo kao kada kamion s djubrivom, prolazeci pored pilane, pregazi tvora. Uzela sam salvetu s krila i zustro oduvala smrad. Zatim sam se nagla na drugu stranu i odvalila jos tri. Smrad je bio gori od kuvanja kupusa. Naculivsi usi na telefonski razgovor u susednoj sobi, nastavila sam ovako da nizem narednih nekoliko minuta. Zadovoljstvo je bilo neopisivo. Kada je pozdravljanje preko telefona oznacilo kraj moje slobode, ucinila sam jos nekoliko brzih kruznih pokreta salvetom da razduvam sve, vratila salvetu na krilo i uz osecaj zadovoljstva i olaksanja, spustila ruke na krilo.
Lice mi je sigurno odavalo najneviniji moguc izraz kada se moj muz vratio i izvinuo sto se tako dugo zadrzao. Pitao me jesam li virila a ja sam ga uverila da nisam. U tom trenutku, skinuo mi je povez i dvanaest gostiju koji su sedeli za stolom u glas je uzviknulo: ''Srecan rodjendan!!!'' Pala sam u nesvest.



ZIVELA STRIPOSLAVIJA
25   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
Poli Posted - 16/08/2018 : 09:27:25




MSBlueberry Posted - 14/08/2018 : 20:24:05
Iman jedan vic, dakle ona dva nogometna kriminalca (ne sečala se Lukiša i Lovren) su išli posjetit svog Gazdu u drugoj državi. I šetaju se oni tako, naravno Maminjo im se zahvalija na velikom prilivu novca u njegovo Poduzeće/HNS zbog ovog Mundijala, kad ispred njih se sklupčala zmija u travi, skočila na Maminja i ugrizla ga u onu stvar (inače služi pretežno za mokrenje). Ova dvojica nisu čekala ni časa, odmah su klekla i isisala mu otrov. Sav sretan i iscrpljen Maminjo in kaže: ˝Hvala van sinovi moji spasili ste mi život˝. Eto jedna lipa priča sa sretnim završetkom.
Poli Posted - 13/08/2018 : 12:46:23






Peyo Posted - 13/08/2018 : 12:37:11
St. Naum Bitch?

Ni sveci nisu što su nekad bili!


Poli Posted - 13/08/2018 : 12:24:13

Ala su bezobrazni ovi Makedonci... ili je to samo neka nova vrsta masovnog sex turizma?





panzer Posted - 13/08/2018 : 11:20:53
Harley died and went to heaven. St Peter was delighted by his arrival and informed Harley that God really wanted to meet him as a great fellow designer.

They finally met and as they were walking along talking about various aspects of design Harley mustered the courage to tell God that " Eve had an inherent design flaw which has never been fixed in all subsequent models."

God looked at him quite puzzled and asked him what that design flaw was. Harley replied, "well the inlet valve and the outlet valve on a woman are too close to each other."

God stared at Harley in amazement and after nodding for a while he put his arm around Harley and replied: "That may be so Harley, but don't forget more men have ridden my model than all your models put together."
panzer Posted - 13/08/2018 : 11:20:08
The mayor of an African town in one of France’s former colonies came to pay a visit to the mayor of a French town of more or less the same size. He was astonished at the mayor’s office. It was full of fine furniture, expensive paintings, and rich decorations.

“How can you afford these things on a mayor’s salary?” he asked.

The French mayor beckoned him over to the window.

“See that bridge? 10%.”

It took a moment for the African mayor to get the message. But his eyes lit up when he did.

Years later, the French mayor visited the African town. In the mayor’s office, he was shocked to find even more luxury than in his own – with Aubusson carpets, delicate Chinese vases, and Old Master paintings.

“Now, I have to ask you the same question you asked me,” he began. “How can you afford all of these things?”

The African mayor pointed out the window.

“See that bridge?”

“Well… no… I don’t see any bridge.”

“Right. 100%.”
panzer Posted - 13/08/2018 : 11:06:18
One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....

"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people wont call you the bridge builder if you do that here. No, no, they dont!"

"I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people wont call you the house builder if you do that. No, no they dont!"

"I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. If you do that people wont call you the tavern builder either. They sure wont!"

"But if you fuck one goat......."
Risar_69 Posted - 12/08/2018 : 14:07:34
Severina ide ka spovedi zbog grijehova, pa kaže: oče griješila sam.
A župnik kaže: znam znam gledao sam.
lwood Posted - 10/08/2018 : 12:53:51
https://www.index.hr/sport/clanak/mamica-odusevila-svjetleca-gospa-porucio-torcidi-voli-vas-maminjo/2016716.aspx

pogledat i komentare
Poli Posted - 09/08/2018 : 12:35:35




Poli Posted - 08/08/2018 : 13:07:33



Poli Posted - 08/08/2018 : 10:06:04

nagore, pokazi mi macku koja moze (i hoce!!) ovo
https://twitter.com/dm9119/status/1026538143607136256



(volim i macketine, samo sam alergican na njih)


izivko Posted - 07/08/2018 : 06:44:39
izivko Posted - 06/08/2018 : 23:13:59
Prognoza vremena na RTL-u. Je ugrijalo



izivko Posted - 06/08/2018 : 23:12:21
Fina ljulja

RadioClash Posted - 06/08/2018 : 20:08:26
izivko Posted - 03/08/2018 : 22:13:14
Ovaj se malo precijenio

https://twitter.com/i/status/1024703313613340672
Poli Posted - 03/08/2018 : 13:34:33

"Dosta mi je, skocit cu!"
https://9gag.com/gag/a8oNnWV


Poli Posted - 03/08/2018 : 07:57:32

Lavricu care, kupi nam cigare!!












te jos jedna iz danasnje Mladine




izivko Posted - 02/08/2018 : 22:18:38
Ovo ide valjda u viceve

https://twitter.com/i/status/1025062947327025152
Oki Posted - 01/08/2018 : 20:35:35
Oki Posted - 01/08/2018 : 20:34:29
senokute Posted - 01/08/2018 : 19:38:17

panzer Posted - 01/08/2018 : 14:24:10
Iz knjige Devil's Dictionary:

CANNIBAL, n. A gastronome of the old school who preserves the simple tastes and adheres to the natural diet of the pre-pork period.

DENTIST, n. A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that.

LIGHTHOUSE, n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

MULATTO, n. A child of two races, ashamed of both.

PHILOSOPHY, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom— and of whom only—it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

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