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seinfeld
Advanced Member
16500 Posts
Member since 04/11/2001 |
 Posted - 17/04/2006 : 15:11:48
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From the SomethingAwful forums
Earlier today, I began to think of Watchmen, and how much I loved that comic. I've been listening to a lot of rap lately, so the two ideas sort of melded together. What if your favorite comics were performed in a rap? What would they be like? Here's what I came up with for Watchmen (Contains a few Watchmen spoilers, WATCH OUT):
Rorschach: Rorschach here comin from the streets, layin out suckas like I lay down beats
Pop outcha fridge even though you got cancer, throwin left hooks like a club has dancers
When I come to ya house in the middle of the night, ya better have beans or else there gonna be a fight
Now here's a dude who I think you'll like, he turns sand into glass, and can really rock the mic
His name is Jon, neutrinos he counts
He'll give this party, a lot more bounce
Jon: Yo yo my name is Jon, I'm the fuckin man
Turnin suckas into dust just because I can
You stare at my dick, you wonder how
This fuckin dick weighs a hundred thou
Lookin' into the future 'n' I know what's happenin
I'm the American God fuckin Doctor Manhattan
Nite Owl: The fuckin Nite Owl here, performin for you
Got Laurie here, we're quite the crew
Used to be Jon's bitch but now she's my ho
Left that giant dick and got with my flow
Take the ship out and fly it round the city
Rescue niggas in a fire because I take pity
On helpless souls who ain't got no one
I'm bad- the fuckin Nite Owl son
Silk Spectre: Silk Spectre's my name and I'm the mother of Laurie
I got mo body than Romero's got gory
I get all the boys comin round my pad
Lost count of all the boys that I done had
Comedian: Shut up bitch you only a slut
Comedian with a AK bustin ya gut
I got jokes that'a leave ya sides split
Bust ya with a uppercut throw ya in the shit
Got silk spectre lickin' all slick
Little asian hoes be suckin this dick
Went to Vietnam 'n helped to win that war
Hitcha with my big dick knock ya to the floor
Adrian: Now all you suckas playin on this mic
Bow to the masta,
The man you should like
Adrian here with tha fuckin snow base
Dreamin of utopia fuckin world payce
All the honeys call me the smartest man in the world
But they don't know this- my plan has been unfurled
Jon you can't stop me Nite Owl yousa bitch
What the fuck Rorschach you little snitch
Jon fuck his shit up hurry up son
Jon: I guess you've got a point. Hmm, consider it done.
Where you goin', Rorry, you little tory
Rorschach: Gonna tell the press. Hurm. Big story.
Jon: You know you can't do that, I'll blast ya in the snow
Rorschach: Just do it fuckin pussy, I want it you know
Boom
Jon: Fuck you nigga, I didn't wanna do this
We can't do shit, you're all fuckin' clueless
I blasted yo shit because you were gonna tell the world
Adrian's plan has begun- as he says unfurled
Russians fuckin stopped that shit in Afghanistan
Too bad we owe it all to Adrian's plan
I tire of this galaxy, it's too complex
All these playa hatas is makin me vexed
Fuck you all especially you Laurie
Suckin fuckin Dan's dick like you wasn't sorry
See you all never this is fuckin it
You can have this place- this big ball of shit
Teleportin' outta here is what is goin on
So I say to all you fuckers- I'm gone
"You see something you want then go for it (go for it)
don't think twice go for it (go for it)
don't leave this earth with nothing to show for it"
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