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culture vulture
Senior Member
1405 Posts
Member since 21/02/2004 |
 Posted - 07/02/2017 : 10:54:51
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Saricev video ne valja nista, ajmo to popravit.
Dear Mr President, thank You for reading this introductory note on Croatia. Please don't watch the introductory video, it is lame. Not funny, total disaster, waste of time. It was produced by total losers. Real Croats are much funnier than that, they are great, hilarious people, like me. The people who produced that video may be from Croatia but can't be real Croats. They must be immigrants and should be illegal, we'll get rid of them.
Croatia is a great country. We defended the West from countless invasions from the East – pagan Mongols, schismatic Byzantines, Muslim Turks, atheistic Russia, we stopped them all. It's a fact. And we didn't even need a wall – we WERE the wall. In fact, we were more than just a wall. Historians call us the 'antemurale Christianitatis'. 'Antemurale' means the outermost wall… or the place where a walled-up city dumps its garbage and excrement. And we PRIDED ourselves on delivering that service to the West. How awesome is that? We will be happy to resume that role under Your rule.
Other nations have pointed out how great their languages were. As if You wished to learn other languages. What a bunch of morons. Croats are so much better – we don't have a language. We have three dialects that don't add up to anything like a language. For centuries, we spoke French, German, Italian, even Hungarian, both in our private and our public lives. Nowadays, everyone is fluent in English and even when we speak a bit of 'Croatian', it's basically an English-based pidgin… So no need to learn our language, we don't have one, we recognise that English is the only language anyone really needs.
The same goes for our State. We never had one. We were always under someone else's rule, or aspiring to be admitted into someone's service. At the moment we are part of the EU, but as You know, the EU has no future. We hope we can find a future in Your empire. Others are saying: 'Our-lame-country second' only because You said: 'America first'. A bunch of neophyte bootlickers. For us, our country has ALWAYS come AT LEAST second.
We know You love divisions. That makes us certain that we'll be great partners, because no nation likes divisions like our little nation. Would You believe that our youth today still votes 'left' or 'right' depending on nothing else but whether their (great-)grandparents collaborated with Hitler or not? It's a fact. It's awesome. Our country is so divided it is ripe for a strong leader to unite it.
Dear Mr President, of course it's AMERICA FIRST, but can we just say: 'Croatia – no second like the perennial second'?
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Olovka je jedina stvar u mojem životu koju mogu kontrolirati. |
Edited by - culture vulture on 07/02/2017 13:05:29
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Croatia welcoming Donald Trump using his words
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