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Stari borac
Average Member

Croatia
505 Posts

Member since 03/11/2004

Posted - 14/10/2010 : 23:08:22  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Stari borac a Private Message  Reply with Quote
A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, yogurts, and shit like that.

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.

This message is sent by someone who worries about your well being.
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Sneaksie Thiefsie
Advanced Member



4537 Posts

Member since 22/04/2008

Posted - 15/10/2010 : 10:06:18  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Sneaksie Thiefsie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Kako Zemunac peva Ekremov hit?
- Gajba,sljaka,sljaka,gajba...
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paro
stripovi.com suradnik



Croatia
8582 Posts

Member since 30/03/2005

Posted - 15/10/2010 : 12:10:52  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Visit paro's Homepage  Send paro a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Koji je začin najdraži pedofilima?
Klinčići
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
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andjelt
Senior Member



Serbia
2217 Posts

Member since 28/07/2008

Posted - 15/10/2010 : 16:17:36  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send andjelt a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Zasto majmun voli plavuse ... zato sto je MAJMUN :)
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andjelt
Senior Member



Serbia
2217 Posts

Member since 28/07/2008

Posted - 15/10/2010 : 16:19:11  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send andjelt a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucy Liu

Kako to da svi govore da je smak svijeta 2012.,a na mojoj pašteti piše da je rok trajanja do 2014.???


"lazu trgovci majku im njinu ..." :)
Zoran Radmilovic - RADOVAN III
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azra x.
Junior Member



Serbia
492 Posts

Member since 18/09/2010

Posted - 15/10/2010 : 17:36:56  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Visit azra x.'s Homepage  Send azra x. a Private Message  Reply with Quote
ovek želi da iznajmi stan. Primetio je mrlje na zidu i rece :
-Kakve su ono mrlje na zidu?
-Pre vas ovde je bio hemicar koji se bavio opasnim eksperimentima...
-I to su hemikalije?
- Ne. To je hemicar.
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? o.o
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andjelt
Senior Member



Serbia
2217 Posts

Member since 28/07/2008

Posted - 15/10/2010 : 17:41:47  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send andjelt a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Skočio padobranac iz aviona i pada na dole, kad odjednom proleti neko u suprotnom smeru
padobranac - eejjj jesil i ti padobranac ?????
- Neee, ja sam minerrr ...
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andjelt
Senior Member



Serbia
2217 Posts

Member since 28/07/2008

Posted - 15/10/2010 : 18:01:45  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send andjelt a Private Message  Reply with Quote
KOJI JE NAJBOLJI NAČIN DA POVRATITE SVOJE PARE ?

... ALKOHOL :)
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Lucy Liu
Average Member



Croatia
706 Posts

Member since 14/09/2007

Posted - 16/10/2010 : 09:00:25  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Lucy Liu an AOL message  Send Lucy Liu an ICQ Message  Send Lucy Liu a Yahoo! Message  Send Lucy Liu a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Roses are red
Violets are blue
In Soviet Russia
Poem writes YOU!
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Risar_69
Advanced Member



Slovenia
11679 Posts

Member since 05/05/2008

Posted - 18/10/2010 : 01:19:43  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Risar_69 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DlAtJgHeyM&NR=1

Da se ne uplašite, ovo je samo reklama protiv solarija
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo8IT18oU0w&feature=related
Kad pocneš crtati, uvek moraš imati na kraju olovke, srce, ruku i misli!
Edited by - Risar_69 on 18/10/2010 01:26:39
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andjelt
Senior Member



Serbia
2217 Posts

Member since 28/07/2008

Posted - 18/10/2010 : 10:22:03  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send andjelt a Private Message  Reply with Quote
"U današnje doba se pet puta više investira u medikamente za mušku potenciju i silikone za žene nego za lečenje Alchajmerove bolesti. Tako ćemo za par godina imati stare babe sa ogromnim sisama i stare dede s tvrdim penisom, ali se niti jedan od njih neće sećati zašto je to dobro i čemu služi."

brazilski onkolog Drauzio Varella, nosioc Nobelove nagrade za medicinu
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Mac
Average Member



Bosnia and Herzegovina
576 Posts

Member since 28/09/2008

Posted - 18/10/2010 : 13:11:57  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Mac a Private Message  Reply with Quote
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Zagor12
Advanced Member



Croatia
6763 Posts

Member since 23/08/2010

Posted - 18/10/2010 : 15:03:46  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Visit Zagor12's Homepage  Send Zagor12 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Zašto apostoli ne vole igrat skrivača???
-Juda će ih sve izdat.
Z12 je sada Golub, ali sajt je ostao isti:
http://superheroji.com.hr/ - Najnovije iz svijeta superheroja
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azra x.
Junior Member



Serbia
492 Posts

Member since 18/09/2010

Posted - 18/10/2010 : 15:08:34  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Visit azra x.'s Homepage  Send azra x. a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Ulazi tip u biblioteku i traži neku knjigu o samoubistvu. A Bibliotekar ga pogleda...- E , k...c ću da ti dam, pa da je ne vratiš...
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? o.o
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andjelt
Senior Member



Serbia
2217 Posts

Member since 28/07/2008

Posted - 19/10/2010 : 13:46:10  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send andjelt a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Igraju Ajnštajn, Njutn i Paskal žmurke.
Žmuri Ajnstajn, broji do 100, Paskal se sakrije iza kuće a Njutn otrči par koraka nacrta kvadrat dimenzija metar sa metar i stane u njega.
Izbroji Ajnštajn do 100 i krene.
Vidi on Njutna i kaže:"Pu, Njutn!", a Njutn će: "Ne,ne,ne, nisam ja Njutn".
Ajnštajn će njemu: "Njutne, pa to si t......i, kako nisi???"
A Njutn kaže: "Ne, ne. Njutn po metru kvadratnom je Paskal".
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Darth Ivan
Advanced Member



Croatia
7978 Posts

Member since 21/03/2010

Posted - 21/10/2010 : 01:15:18  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Darth Ivan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Šalje Mujo Fati brzojav iz Njemačke u kojem je napisao:
Fato, odmah iskopaj onaj mitraljez iz vrta, podmaži ga i vrati na isto mjesto.
Čim je poštar primio brzojav, odnio ga je u policiju. Dođe interventna postrojba u Fatinu kuću, prekopa cijeli vrt, a nigdje mitraljeza.
Tri dana iza prvog brzojava, Mujo pošalje drugi:
Fato, ako je vrt prekopan, ti posadi krumpir!
"Nothing lasts forever."
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Darth Ivan
Advanced Member



Croatia
7978 Posts

Member since 21/03/2010

Posted - 21/10/2010 : 01:21:26  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Darth Ivan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
- Jesi čuo, Haso bolan, da je Suljo magistriro?
- Suljo magistriro?!
- Jes, vala, pokupio ga šleper na magistrali!
"Nothing lasts forever."
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Lucy Liu
Average Member



Croatia
706 Posts

Member since 14/09/2007

Posted - 22/10/2010 : 01:16:05  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Lucy Liu an AOL message  Send Lucy Liu an ICQ Message  Send Lucy Liu a Yahoo! Message  Send Lucy Liu a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Why does Beyonce say "To the left,to the left"?
-Because the blacks have no rights!
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Sneaksie Thiefsie
Advanced Member



4537 Posts

Member since 22/04/2008

Posted - 22/10/2010 : 17:01:37  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Sneaksie Thiefsie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Uputstvo za korišćenje bankomata

Procedura za muškarace:

1. Dovezite kola do bankomata.
2. Otvorite prozor.
3. Ubacite karticu u bankomat i otkučajte šifru.
4. Otkucajte željenu sumu za podizanje.
5. Uzmite karticu, gotovinu i potvrdu.
6. Podignite prozor.
7. Odvezite se dalje.

Procedura za žene:

1. Dovezite kola do bankomata.
2. Vozite malo unazad da vaš prozor bude u ravni sa bankomatom.
3. Ponovo upalite motor koji se ugasio.
4. Spustite prozor.
5. Pronađite tašnu, istresite ceo njen sadržaj na suvozačevo sedište da pronađete karticu.
6. Pronađite kutiju sa šminkom i proverite svoj izgled na retrovizoru.
7. Pokušajte da ubacite karticu u bankomat.
8. Otvorite vrata kola da biste mogli da domašite automat.
9. Ubacite karticu.
10. Ponovo ubacite karticu, ovog puta sa pravom stranom odozgore.
11. Ponovo pretražite tašnu da pronađete notes sa svojom šifrom, upisanom na poslednjoj stranici.
12. Otkucajte šifru.
13. Pritisnite ''Cancel'' i ukucajte ispravan broj.
14. Otkucajte željenu sumu za podizanje.
15. Uzmite gotovinu i potvrdu.
16. Ispraznite tašnicu da pronađete novčanik.
17. Vozite napred 2 metra.
18. Vozite nazad 2 metra da uzmete i karticu iz automata.
19. Proverite šminku.
20. Ponovo upalite motor koji se ugasio.
21. Vozite 5-10 kilometara.
22. Spustite ručnu kočnicu.
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Darth Ivan
Advanced Member



Croatia
7978 Posts

Member since 21/03/2010

Posted - 22/10/2010 : 17:06:54  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Darth Ivan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Zaplovio Kolumbo 1492. iz Španjolske prema zapadnom dijelu zemlje. Plove on i posada nekoliko mjeseci, i jedan član posade iznenada vikne:
- Sinjor Kolumbo, kopno na vidiku!
- Odlično - kaže Kolumbo - brzo telefonirajte kraljici u Španjolsku!
- Ali sinjor, telefon još nije pronađen!
- Ajoj meni - kaže Kolumbo - zar ja baš moram sve pronalaziti?


- Optuženi, jeste li uzeli odvjetnika?
- Ne, gospodine suče, odlučio sam govoriti istinu!
"Nothing lasts forever."
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morrison
Advanced Member



Serbia
5142 Posts

Member since 29/01/2008

Posted - 22/10/2010 : 23:14:13  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send morrison a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucy Liu

Why does Beyonce say "To the left,to the left"?
-Because the blacks have no rights!


Moja omiljena vrsta vica: glup, a dobar. :-)
There ain't no grave gonna hold my body down.
Edited by - morrison on 22/10/2010 23:15:15
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Darth Ivan
Advanced Member



Croatia
7978 Posts

Member since 21/03/2010

Posted - 23/10/2010 : 00:05:15  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Darth Ivan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
- Gospođo, prošli ste kroz crveno svjetlo, morat ću vas kazniti - kaže policajac.
- Ali gospodine policajče, ja sam daltonistica - kaže žena.
- Nema to veze - odvrati policajac - kažnjavam ja i strance!

Imao sam strašnu točku - priča mađioničar prijatelju - koju sam izvodio sa svojom ženom. Prerezao sam je u dva komada. I onda smo se rastali.
- A gdje je ona sad - pita ga prijatelj.
- U Milanu i u Veneciji.
"Nothing lasts forever."
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Poli
Advanced Member



Slovenia
38004 Posts

Member since 26/10/2007

Posted - 24/10/2010 : 14:46:08  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Poli a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Anything is possible dec d uej
Be the Change You Want to See
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Mac
Average Member



Bosnia and Herzegovina
576 Posts

Member since 28/09/2008

Posted - 26/10/2010 : 15:57:25  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Send Mac a Private Message  Reply with Quote
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acestroke
stripovi.com suradnik



USA
11652 Posts

Member since 16/04/2009

Posted - 26/10/2010 : 21:16:35  Show Profile Show Extended Profile  Visit acestroke's Homepage  Send acestroke a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Pa naravno da znam koja je ovo pjesma odozgo, pogotovo kad tip ovako lijepo objasni o cemu je stvar
http://www.acestroke.blogspot.com
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