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Poli
Advanced Member
Slovenia
38181 Posts
Member since 26/10/2007 |
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Johnny Difool
Advanced Member
Croatia
13988 Posts
Member since 21/02/2010 |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47326 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
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nemanja93
Senior Member
Serbia
2439 Posts
Member since 06/03/2010 |
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nemanja93
Senior Member
Serbia
2439 Posts
Member since 06/03/2010 |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47326 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
 Posted - 10/12/2013 : 01:58:15
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depresivni iskompleksirani primitivac i nadrkana budala kojeg financira stari i koji sa skoro 50 godina nema ni žene ni posla.Pa naravno da je ljut na sve, a narocito na one koji su uspješni.
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47326 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
Posted - 10/12/2013 : 12:59:33
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Ste naveličani otrok? Vam presedajo? Ne želijo odrasti? Nič lažjega,
oddajte oglas! Na enem izmed slovenskih malooglasnih portalov, se je
pojavila ponudba, ki na takšen ali drugačen način bode v oči.
Slovnično neoporečen oglas objavljamo v celoti (kaj pa, če je vse res?):
Jedan od oglasa u novinama:
Prodal bi "družinu"
Jaz ne morem več izdržat. Ova moja družina nije za nikamor. Nevem kje da
počnem. Bom prvo kod sina Denisa (da sam znao, nikad djece nebi pravijo).
Ma 19 ljet i končao je srednju ekonosmko, nevem kako, ker su me skos klicali
iz šole da šprica i zdaj je frajer upiso faks a lopate u življenju nije
držo. Pa lepo sm mu reko pejt za mehaničara boš dubo šiht kuj, a on gospod
oče u pisarnoj sjedti. Nikol ga ni doma, pride sam jest pa spat, pa nije ti
to avtobuska stanica. Ko mu kaj rečem počne odgovarat, misli da je jak ko
hodi na fitnes a nema 70 kila sa pojstlom. Kad sam mu reko da greva v Bosno
kupti šljive, kaže da se mora učit za izpit, a nijedne knjige nema u
stanovanju. Sam pare fehta od mene, zadnič je hoto it u kino gledat neki
film Čefuri raus, sam mu reko nek izađe pred blok pa bo vidijo film.
Ma motka je bila zakon, al sad odma kličeju na socialno, nesmješ ni sovje
djete udarti, kakva je to država? Ja sam kod njegovih godina že vojsku
služijo, a on ni čevlje na zna obut. Isto je sa Hčerkom Almom, šta god
ukažem ona pravi da ne more, ker si je lih nohte nalakirala. Gospa mora bit
fina, pametnije da se vati knjige a ne teh šminka. A k mi je žena rekla da
je začela tamala kadit sam čist znorijo, obe sam hoto zadavti. Ja še dons ne
smem pripalti kraj svog fotra, a ona digne noge na stolcu i čiburi. A to je
žena največ kriva, k jaz kaj rečem on pravi pusti djecu na miru, zato pa je
tko. Jaz pridem iz nočne in glih legnem da spim, ona odvrne muziko. I to
nije neka normalna muzika, ko smo mi bili mladi so ble pesmi lepe, a ne zdaj
R8 audi na haubi. Puj šta cigani uradiše od prave narodne muzike. A da ne
govorim o onom žgolji od momka k ga ma. Nabiju neki auspuh na onog svog
Golfa, slišim ga na 3 kilometre. Da je moj, ja bi ga satro.
A žene Samire bi se prve loso, odkar nema službe samo kod komšinice Dragice
na kavi i čenčaju. Pridem iz službe zmatran namesto da me čaka kosilo ona
srka kavicu i trača. Pa kaj delaš cel božji dan!? I pol me še upa uprašat
kad čemo u Lidela majo v akciji neke tepsije. Kaj ti bo tepsija če nikol nč
ne spečeš? Dok Safet radi ko konj svaki dan oni bi da trošiju pare. E pa
neče moči! Sve to treba postrojti ... Zato jih prodajam, daj šta daš, sam
nosi jih izpred očiju. U paketu dam popust i litar prave rakije šljive dol
iz Bosne. Grem lih drug tjedan dol da pečemo da se mal odmorim od ovih
svojih hajvana. Tko da če jih rabte sam vozi, a i ovaj moj sudelavc Drago
pravi da su njegovi isti, tko da lahko še njegove uzamete. Sve je to ista
banda ...
Mile
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Kad pocneš crtati, uvek moraš imati na kraju olovke, srce, ruku i misli! |
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dr strangelove
Advanced Member
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USA
8866 Posts
Member since 26/12/2007 |
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bagi
Advanced Member
.jpg)
Bosnia and Herzegovina
3840 Posts
Member since 29/12/2002 |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47326 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
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panzer
Advanced Member
12640 Posts
Member since 18/05/2005 |
Posted - 12/12/2013 : 09:50:47
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Camilla's new shoes.
Princess Camilla bought a pair of new shoes for her wedding day, but the shoes got increasingly tighter and tighter as the day wore on.
That night, when the festivities were finally over and the couple retired to their bedroom, Camilla flopped onto the bed and said, "Charles, darling. Please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me!"
The ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge.
"Harder!" yelled Camilla.
"Harder!" Charles yelled back, "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!"
"Come on! Give it all you've got!" Camilla cried.
Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good!"
In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See? I told you, with a face like that, she had to be a virgin!"
Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove Camilla's left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one's even tighter!"
At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy! Once a Navy man, always a Navy man!" |
Ich bin kein Mensch, ich bin kein Tier, ich bin ein Panzer-Grenadier! |
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panzer
Advanced Member
12640 Posts
Member since 18/05/2005 |
Posted - 12/12/2013 : 10:09:59
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Prince Charles and the prostitute.
Prince Charles decided to take up an evening walk each day, along the streets of London. He decided on a fixed route, so his security guards would always be able to keep tabs on him, walking a respectful distance in front and behind.
On one particular street corner, he would always pass the same prostitute standing there touting for business.
He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.
"One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout.
"No! Five pounds!" he'd shout back at her, just to shut her up.
This exchange between him and the prostitute became a daily ritual.
She'd yell, "One hundred and fifty pounds!"
He'd yell back, "No! Five pounds!"
One evening, Camilla decided to accompany her husband on his walk.
As the couple walked in the direction of the prostitute's corner, Prince Charles realised she'd probably bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd been doing on all his previous outings.
He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife.
As they neared the prostitute’s corner he became apprehensive - sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as the prostitute watched the pair pass, and he sighed inwardly with relief - she said nothing as they passed by.
Then, just as he thought he was safe, the prostitute suddenly yelled after his receding back, "See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard!" |
Ich bin kein Mensch, ich bin kein Tier, ich bin ein Panzer-Grenadier! |
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panzer
Advanced Member
12640 Posts
Member since 18/05/2005 |
Posted - 12/12/2013 : 10:12:30
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Three engineers and three mathematicians are travelling by train to a conference.
At the station, the three mathematicians each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a mathematician.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.
They all board the train. The mathematicians take their respective seats, but all three engineers cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The mathematicians see this and agree it is quite a clever idea, so after the conference, they decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that).
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed mathematician.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.
When they board the train, the three mathematicians cram into one toilet and the three engineers cram into another one nearby.
The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the engineers leaves the toilet where the three were hiding and walks over to the toilet where the mathematicians are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please." |
Ich bin kein Mensch, ich bin kein Tier, ich bin ein Panzer-Grenadier! |
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Johnny Difool
Advanced Member
Croatia
13988 Posts
Member since 21/02/2010 |
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maddox031
Senior Member
Croatia
1941 Posts
Member since 23/09/2011 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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bagi
Advanced Member
Bosnia and Herzegovina
3840 Posts
Member since 29/12/2002 |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47326 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 14/12/2013 : 12:55:40
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depresivni iskompleksirani primitivac i nadrkana budala kojeg financira stari i koji sa skoro 50 godina nema ni žene ni posla.Pa naravno da je ljut na sve, a narocito na one koji su uspješni.
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xilrion
Advanced Member
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Croatia
3025 Posts
Member since 16/12/2010 |
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Just_Charlie
Advanced Member
.jpg)
8578 Posts
Member since 07/01/2008 |
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Just_Charlie
Advanced Member
8578 Posts
Member since 07/01/2008 |
Posted - 14/12/2013 : 17:53:27
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" Ovaj je narod toliko duboko izmanipuliran da u prijateljima vidi neprijatelje, u neprijateljima prijatelje, a u dječjem zboru Pahuljica pokret otpora". 
(matijaneznamsmimlireckoji) |
~ Prvo suputnik onda put ~
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VICEVI !!!
