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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
 Posted - 03/06/2014 : 23:35:23
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ova je stara, ali još uvijek pali:
TWO COWS
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
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Kad pocneš crtati, uvek moraš imati na kraju olovke, srce, ruku i misli! |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47009 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 04/06/2014 : 01:11:42
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depresivni iskompleksirani primitivac i nadrkana budala kojeg financira stari i koji sa skoro 50 godina nema ni žene ni posla.Pa naravno da je ljut na sve, a narocito na one koji su uspješni.
Jbga Lwoode nisam ti ja kriv kaj nisi uspio u životu |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47009 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 04/06/2014 : 01:12:58
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depresivni iskompleksirani primitivac i nadrkana budala kojeg financira stari i koji sa skoro 50 godina nema ni žene ni posla.Pa naravno da je ljut na sve, a narocito na one koji su uspješni.
Jbga Lwoode nisam ti ja kriv kaj nisi uspio u životu |
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Poli
Advanced Member
Slovenia
37759 Posts
Member since 26/10/2007 |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47009 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 04/06/2014 : 15:40:04
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nema razloga da ovaj biser gluposti ne stavimo i ovde:
http://youtu.be/uAZxGYGBXFo
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depresivni iskompleksirani primitivac i nadrkana budala kojeg financira stari i koji sa skoro 50 godina nema ni žene ni posla.Pa naravno da je ljut na sve, a narocito na one koji su uspješni.
Jbga Lwoode nisam ti ja kriv kaj nisi uspio u životu |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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Poli
Advanced Member
Slovenia
37759 Posts
Member since 26/10/2007 |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47009 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 04/06/2014 : 20:52:18
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depresivni iskompleksirani primitivac i nadrkana budala kojeg financira stari i koji sa skoro 50 godina nema ni žene ni posla.Pa naravno da je ljut na sve, a narocito na one koji su uspješni.
Jbga Lwoode nisam ti ja kriv kaj nisi uspio u životu |
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Poli
Advanced Member
Slovenia
37759 Posts
Member since 26/10/2007 |
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nemanja93
Senior Member
Serbia
2437 Posts
Member since 06/03/2010 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
Posted - 05/06/2014 : 22:12:55
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Navodno najbolji vic svih vremena:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of Petrie wine, they retire to their tent for the night. At about 3 AM, Holmes nudges Watson and asks, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?" Watson said, "I see millions of stars." Holmes asks, "And, what does that tell you?" Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it tells me that it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes retorts, "Someone stole our tent." |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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nagor
Advanced Member
Croatia
12553 Posts
Member since 21/02/2012 |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47009 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 07/06/2014 : 21:10:12
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depresivni iskompleksirani primitivac i nadrkana budala kojeg financira stari i koji sa skoro 50 godina nema ni žene ni posla.Pa naravno da je ljut na sve, a narocito na one koji su uspješni.
Jbga Lwoode nisam ti ja kriv kaj nisi uspio u životu |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47009 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 07/06/2014 : 21:10:57
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depresivni iskompleksirani primitivac i nadrkana budala kojeg financira stari i koji sa skoro 50 godina nema ni žene ni posla.Pa naravno da je ljut na sve, a narocito na one koji su uspješni.
Jbga Lwoode nisam ti ja kriv kaj nisi uspio u životu |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47009 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 07/06/2014 : 21:16:58
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depresivni iskompleksirani primitivac i nadrkana budala kojeg financira stari i koji sa skoro 50 godina nema ni žene ni posla.Pa naravno da je ljut na sve, a narocito na one koji su uspješni.
Jbga Lwoode nisam ti ja kriv kaj nisi uspio u životu |
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Darth Ivan
Advanced Member
Croatia
7978 Posts
Member since 21/03/2010 |
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VICEVI !!!
