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split85
Advanced Member
Croatia
8233 Posts
Member since 25/01/2010 |
 Posted - 16/10/2012 : 10:38:18
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Dvije se cure voze busom na relaciji Zagreb-Split.
Priča jedna: "Ajme doša mi je momak u subotu ...
"Je l' Stipe???"
" Ma ne, ol' ti ne znaš da smo prekinili? Ovi je novi!"
"I ..."
"Ajme ća je bilo lipo... Joj kako se ljubi ... Koje ruke ima čovik,
pari hobotnica, joj kako me dira, kako me mazija, popizdila san.
A sve malo ljubi, pa malo liže, pa jope ljubi ... pa gricka po guzi,
pa licka po cicama, a pipa posvuda ..... Jebote, izludija me koju
tehniku ima ... "
bla, bla, bla ...
... bla, bla, bla ...
(nakon pola sata)
"... onda me je, joj ..... ajme ća mi je onda prstom napravija!!! Ludilo!!!... "
Kad se najednom iz zadnjeg reda začuje:
"A jel' te jeba više, jeben ti mater!!??? ... triba san još u Kninu izać. |
Sorare pozivnica: https://sorare.com/r/sreja1985 |
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emirem
Advanced Member
10806 Posts
Member since 18/01/2010 |
Posted - 16/10/2012 : 11:56:33
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quote:
Originally posted by split85
Kad se najednom iz zadnjeg reda začuje:
"A jel' te jeba više, jeben ti mater!!??? ... triba san još u Kninu izać.
Argha-hahahaha |
"Kompromisi u kolekcionarstvu su one stvari koje ce ti omoguciti da dozivis starost sa pozamasnom ustedjevinom!" |
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emirem
Advanced Member
10806 Posts
Member since 18/01/2010 |
Posted - 16/10/2012 : 11:57:12
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quote:
Originally posted by Poli
Man of steel |
"Kompromisi u kolekcionarstvu su one stvari koje ce ti omoguciti da dozivis starost sa pozamasnom ustedjevinom!" |
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emirem
Advanced Member
10806 Posts
Member since 18/01/2010 |
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emirem
Advanced Member
10806 Posts
Member since 18/01/2010 |
Posted - 16/10/2012 : 11:58:36
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quote:
Originally posted by Poli
Bas im je pobjeglo... |
"Kompromisi u kolekcionarstvu su one stvari koje ce ti omoguciti da dozivis starost sa pozamasnom ustedjevinom!" |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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panzer
Advanced Member
12609 Posts
Member since 18/05/2005 |
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Stari borac
Average Member
Croatia
505 Posts
Member since 03/11/2004 |
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emirem
Advanced Member
10806 Posts
Member since 18/01/2010 |
Posted - 17/10/2012 : 23:03:58
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quote:
Originally posted by Stari borac
How Boobs got their Name
ha-ha dobra...gdje je nestao Bob? |
"Kompromisi u kolekcionarstvu su one stvari koje ce ti omoguciti da dozivis starost sa pozamasnom ustedjevinom!" |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
Posted - 18/10/2012 : 00:13:08
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Student pao na ispitu iz logike, priđe profesoru i reče :
" Ako pogodite uzimam jedinicu i odlazim, ako ne znate odgovor dajte mi
pet i odlazim.
Profesor nakon kraćeg razmišljanja : " Ok, prihvaćam!
" Student: "
Što je to legalno, a nije logično, logično, a nije legalno, a što nije niti
logično niti legalno ?? "
Profesor je dugo razmišljao, nije našao pravi odgovor i dade studentu
peticu. Nakon toga ga je pitao za odgovor...student je odmah odgovorio: "
Vi, imate 63.g. i oženjeni ste 35.-godišnjakinjom, to je legalno, ali nije
logično. Vaša žena ima 25.-godišnjaka za ljubavnika, što je logično, ali
nije legalno. Vi date peticu ljubavniku vaše žene makar je trebao pasti na
ispitu, što nije niti logično, niti legalno.
-- |
Kad pocneš crtati, uvek moraš imati na kraju olovke, srce, ruku i misli! |
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Stari borac
Average Member
Croatia
505 Posts
Member since 03/11/2004 |
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Amos
Senior Member
Croatia
2896 Posts
Member since 03/01/2011 |
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Stari borac
Average Member
Croatia
505 Posts
Member since 03/11/2004 |
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bosancicigor
Average Member
Croatia
866 Posts
Member since 15/08/2009 |
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bosancicigor
Average Member
Croatia
866 Posts
Member since 15/08/2009 |
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Zlotvor
Advanced Member
7094 Posts
Member since 03/02/2010 |
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Darth Ivan
Advanced Member
Croatia
7978 Posts
Member since 21/03/2010 |
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Stari borac
Average Member
Croatia
505 Posts
Member since 03/11/2004 |
Posted - 21/10/2012 : 23:05:26
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Pita Suljo Muju:
- Š´a ti je, ba, to oko modro?
- Udarila me Fata.
- Štooo?
- Zato što sam joj se obratio sa "ti".
- I zato te pukla?
- Zato. Ležim ja u krevetu, ona me gurka i kaže mi "Nismo mi odavno...", a ja joj kažem: "Ne mi, nego ti."
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panzer
Advanced Member
12609 Posts
Member since 18/05/2005 |
Posted - 22/10/2012 : 10:25:00
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Air Traffic Control dialogue.
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Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
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"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
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From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
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O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
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A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight.
While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
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A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
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There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."
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Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine." explained the flight attendant, adding, "It took us a while to find a new pilot."
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One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
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The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!"
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Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."
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The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport can sometimes be a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but also how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speedbird 206") after landing:
Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway."
Ground: "Guten morgen! You vill taxi to your gate!"
The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxi way and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know vare you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground: (with some arrogant impatience) "Speedbird 206, haff you never flown to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, I have, in 1944. In another type of Boeing. I didn't stop."
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A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."
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During taxi at London Heathrow, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft.Lauderdale, made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on "Charlie" taxi way; you turned right on "Delta." Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between C's and D's but get it right."
Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically, "God, you've screwed everything up; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that, US Air 2771?"
The humbled crew responded: "Yes Ma'am".
Naturally, the "ground control" frequency went terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air Flight 2771. No one wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state. Tension in every cockpit at LGA was running high.
Shortly after the controller finished her admonishment of the U.S. Air crew, an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you once?"
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Ich bin kein Mensch, ich bin kein Tier, ich bin ein Panzer-Grenadier! |
Edited by - panzer on 22/10/2012 10:25:21 |
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VICEVI !!!
