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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47575 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
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Sale from Hell
New Member
Croatia
115 Posts
Member since 29/04/2008 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
 Posted - 21/09/2008 : 16:25:01
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Kad vam ponestane para za benzin,evo idealnog rješenja
A ovako izgleda, kad nam ponestane para za stripove
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Kad pocneš crtati, uvek moraš imati na kraju olovke, srce, ruku i misli! |
Edited by - Risar_69 on 21/09/2008 16:28:22 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
Posted - 23/09/2008 : 01:22:01
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Hm, druže, hm izvini hm, možeš li malo da se pomakneš, hm
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Kad pocneš crtati, uvek moraš imati na kraju olovke, srce, ruku i misli! |
Edited by - Risar_69 on 23/09/2008 01:22:47 |
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Stari borac
Average Member
Croatia
505 Posts
Member since 03/11/2004 |
Posted - 23/09/2008 : 20:47:07
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Došli šefovi iz Coca-Cole Papi u Rim da ponude Katoličkoj crkvi da za milijun dolara godišnje uvrsti u Očenaš umjesto kruha »Coca-Colu našu svagdašnju«. Papa je, naravno, to s gnušanjem odbio.
Ponudu su povećali na dva milijuna, papa ponovno odbije, pa na pet, na deset, i tako redom, a na ponuđenih pedeset milijuna papa preko ramena pita kancelara: »Brate Francesco, kad nam istječe ugovor s pekarima?«.
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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panzer
Advanced Member
12800 Posts
Member since 18/05/2005 |
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panzer
Advanced Member
12800 Posts
Member since 18/05/2005 |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
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hello
Senior Member
Croatia
2731 Posts
Member since 14/07/2006 |
Posted - 27/09/2008 : 12:35:57
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Došao novi svećenik u samostan gdje je zavjet šutnje, ali jednom godišnje može se izgovoriti par riječi. Nakon godinu dana sastanu se svećenici i kad je došao na njega red da nešto kaže nakon kraćeg razmišljanja izgovori: "Kreveti su pretvrdi", sljedeće godine opet na njega red da nešto kaže pa kaže "Hrana je loša". Nakon tri godine od ulaska opet na njega dođe red da nešto kaže pa reče "Ja odlazim". Nakon što je izašao iz sobe jedan od svećenika više nije mogao izdržati da ne kaže "A hvala ti Bože da je otišao, stalno je nešto prigovarao" |
www.izdavanje-knjiga-dani.hr
www.vangogh.hr |
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sonor
stripovi.com suradnik
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Vatican City
3953 Posts
Member since 18/02/2006 |
Posted - 27/09/2008 : 13:13:45
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| ha ha |
There's a time to live and a time to die
When it's time to meet the maker!
There's a time to live but isn't it strange
That as soon as you're born you're dying!
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Milazzo
Senior Member
Croatia
2140 Posts
Member since 30/01/2008 |
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The Road Warrior
New Member
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Equatorial Guinea
182 Posts
Member since 06/07/2008 |
Posted - 27/09/2008 : 15:23:52
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| Osudili Rusa,Amera i Muju na 10 godina zatvora.I tako došli oni u zatvor no ne mogu ih stavit u ćeliju zbog prenatrpanosti već će ih stavit u samicu.Kako ne bi oni bili zakinuti čuvari zatvora im obećali da će im donest svaki dan jednu određenu stvar po njihovoj želji pa tako sve dok ne izvrše kaznu.Upitali oni Amera "što bi htio?"a Amer kaže "bocu whiskeya ",upitaju oni Rusa a Rus će "bocu votke ".Došao red na Muju no nezna što će pa kaže "može cigarete".Nakon 10 godina izlazi Amer sav pijan,Rus još pijaniji a Mujo će njima "hej ima li itko od vas upaljač". |
Remember where you are - this is Thunderdome, and death is listening, and will take the first man that screams. |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47575 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 27/09/2008 : 22:49:38
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A friend is having trouble with his system.
Last year he upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which he'd used for years without trouble. However, apparently there are conflicts between these two systems, the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend with the sound turned off.
But to make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as; Lads Night Out 3.1, Golf 2 and Playboy 6.0. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better, Girlfriend 3.0 has many bugs and left a virus in his system, forcing him to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually he tried installing Girlfriend 2.1 as well as Girlfriend 1.0 only to discover when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all his hardware.
Sensing a way out, he upgraded to Fiancée 1.0 only to discover to his dismay that this system requires rapid upgrading to Wife 1.0.
However, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2000.
But imagine my friends disappointment though on discovering Wife 1.0 can be unstable and costly to maintain, any mistakes he makes are automatically stored in Wife 1.0 Hardrive and can not be deleted - they then re-surface months later. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic InterDiary Explorer and E-mail Porn Filter.
Wife 1.0 also automatically runs PhotoSTROP and WINGEzip and no option on the Help menu seems to work, leaving him to try and GUESS the fault himself.
The system footprint needs updating regularly requiring Shoeshop browser Pro for new attachments - Hairstyle express needs to be reinstalled every week.
It also refused some of the new Games and attachments he wanted to try, stating they are an illegal operation.
When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to Lotus Car 1.0 it often crashes or run the system dry.
Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-law, which can't be turned off.
Recently he's been tempted to try Mistress 2000 add-on, but there could be problems. If wife 1.0 detects the presence of mistress 2000, it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself. |
You stared at the abyss, you'll never rest in peace |
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flamboyant soul
stripovi.com suradnik
United Kingdom
1975 Posts
Member since 10/07/2007 |
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Stari borac
Average Member
Croatia
505 Posts
Member since 03/11/2004 |
Posted - 28/09/2008 : 12:49:36
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Jura je umirao, a njegova žena je sjedila uza nj.
Pogledao je gore k njoj i slabim glasom rekao:
- Moram ti nešto ispovjediti.
- Nemoj se sada zamarati pričajući - odgovorila je ona.
- Ne - inzistirao je - želim umrijeti u miru. Spavao sam s tvojom sestrom, tvojom najboljom prijateljicom, njezinom prijateljicom i tvojom majkom!
- Znam - odgovorila je - a sada se samo opusti i pusti da otrov djeluje.
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mali od palube
Advanced Member
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Mali
3136 Posts
Member since 16/09/2007 |
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Mac
Average Member
Bosnia and Herzegovina
576 Posts
Member since 28/09/2008 |
Posted - 28/09/2008 : 15:51:48
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RJEČNIK STRANIH RIJEČI:
aerobik - bik koji leti
aloja - kreten koji sam sebe zove na telefon
barakuda - izgubljena Zagorka
Bermuda - medvjeđa jaja
bezbolan - zabranjeno govoriti bosanskim naglaskom
bosti - imenovanje šefa
Bremen - Srbin
Burundi - žedni Zagorac
čizmica- mala mačka koja jede sir
donacija - sjediti u društvu nacista
fukara - seksualno ugrožena papiga
gorila - Los Angeles u plamenu
herpes - gospodin pas
Kabul - Dalmatinac koji sliči na bika
kajdanke - Zagorac koji ne razumije njemački
karanfil - ljubitelj Gorana Karana
katran - mačka u bijegu
kreten- skupina od deset žaba
licemjeri - estetski kirurzi
Meksiko - reći nekome da je mekušac
Nagasaki - egzhibicionistica po imenu Saki
nebuloze - razočarani Zagorac
nemati - otac
obala - la i la
pesimističan - tajanstveni zagorski pas
petak - ak ak ak ak ak
pigment- svinja s okusom mentola
poniženi - darovati supruzi malog konja
Pusić - "mačkica"
repatica - ptica koja pjeva Eminema
romantičar - pripadnik romskog naroda koji proučava antiku
rotkva - crvena patka
Somalija - tisuću lisica
transparent - tvrtka za prijevoz roditelja
trijumf - tri djevice
ustanova - plastična operacija usana |
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kerber
Senior Member
Fyro Macedonia
1723 Posts
Member since 22/03/2006 |
Posted - 28/09/2008 : 19:32:47
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quote:
Originally posted by Stari borac
Jura je umirao, a njegova žena je sjedila uza nj.
Pogledao je gore k njoj i slabim glasom rekao:
- Moram ti nešto ispovjediti.
- Nemoj se sada zamarati pričajući - odgovorila je ona.
- Ne - inzistirao je - želim umrijeti u miru. Spavao sam s tvojom sestrom, tvojom najboljom prijateljicom, njezinom prijateljicom i tvojom majkom!
- Znam - odgovorila je - a sada se samo opusti i pusti da otrov djeluje.
dobaaar!!! |
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Risar_69
Advanced Member
Slovenia
11679 Posts
Member since 05/05/2008 |
Posted - 28/09/2008 : 20:00:52
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Vozi Mujo kamion kroz Sloveniju.
Piči on, a odjednom ga zaustavi policajac. Kaže policajac:
- Drug, žmigavec vam ne dela(radi)!
Izađe Mujo napolje i gleda okolo i čudi se. Policajac ga spopao:
- Drug, poglejte, žmigavec vam ne dela!
Mujo gleda okolo sav u čudu. Opet policajac:
- Ma, žmigavec vam ne dela!
Kad Mujo odjednom:
- Ma jebo te žmigavac, gledam gde mi je prikolica!!! |
Kad pocneš crtati, uvek moraš imati na kraju olovke, srce, ruku i misli! |
Edited by - Risar_69 on 28/09/2008 20:01:25 |
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Raga
Senior Member
Croatia
1028 Posts
Member since 03/06/2008 |
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kucni duh
Advanced Member
Croatia
3943 Posts
Member since 21/03/2007 |
Posted - 29/09/2008 : 10:46:21
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Ciga: Imate li prašak za buve?
Prodavac: Imate li psa ili mačku?
Ciga: Imam buve.
Došao Bosanac u Amsterdam i video prostitutku u izlogu pa prišao, pokucao na staklo i pita:
- Koliko košta?
- 50 eura - odgovara prostitutka.
- Pa nije mnogo, jel to duplo staklo ???
Uhvati Bill Gates zlatnu ribicu i kaze mu ona:
- 'Molim te baci me natrag u vodu.'
I baci nju Bill natrag pa nastavi pecati. Kaže ribica:
- 'A, želja?'
Bill:
- 'Ma, dobro de.. Ajd, reci.....'
Muž se kasno vraća kuci, ulazi u krevet i počne da se gura uz suprugu.
- Dragi - kaže mu - trenutno ne mogu..
- Ma šta vam je danas, kao da ste se sve dogovorile...
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alanmaras
Advanced Member
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Croatia
3787 Posts
Member since 06/03/2005 |
Posted - 29/09/2008 : 12:51:25
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Razgovara Zagorec sa znancem o svoje tri kceri.
- Je'na je doktorica. Dela kak' pes. Zarada nikakva. Sakih cetrnajst dana z autobusom dojde po vrecu krumpira i jajca.
- Druga je slikarica. Nekaj crta, ne znam kaj. I ona dela kak' pes, a posel ide jako lose. Prodala je i beciklina, sam' da bi prezivela.
- Treca je eskort dama. Ne znam tocno kaj to je, al' ima tulike posla da joj za vikend pomaze i moja zena!
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"I sat before the wise man in the autumn of my youth, and I told him all the things I had to know.
He said you have the future if you need to find the truth, and in his eyes I saw that it was so." |
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lwood
Advanced Member
Colombia
47575 Posts
Member since 09/12/2005 |
Posted - 29/09/2008 : 15:26:08
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Došao seljak kod doktora i čeka na red. Prođe čitav dan u čekanju, izađe doktor i kaže: "To bi bilo sve za danas, imam važan sastanak, svi neprimljeni moraju doći sutra."
Seljak će na to: "Čekaj malo, šta da radim sa ovolikim pečenjem?"
Doktor mu namigne i kaže: "Vi sa pečenjem sačekajte još malo, a svi ostali kući."
Odoše svi, doktor prozove seljaka i pita: "Gde je pečenje?"
"Doktore, strašno me peče kad pišam..." |
You stared at the abyss, you'll never rest in peace |
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VICEVI !!!
